December 20, 2009

Speed Dating: The Lady Baby Boomer’s Worst Nightmare

By Dr. Karen for

This series of articles from Boomer Yearbook explores the fascinating and varied sexual behavioral patterns that occur as a result of the impact of the modern World; the challenges faced by men and women of the new age and the hurdles that must be addressed: Boomer Yearbook’s Guide and Coaching Strategy for the baby boomer generation

Speed Dating: The Lady Baby Boomer’s Worst Nightmare

Lady baby boomers who find themselves available again late in life, either through bereavement or divorce, can find stepping into the strange world of dating in the 21st Century not only daunting but also populated with predatory beings out to use and abuse.

The comfort of a long term relationship such as marriage can bring security yet also complacence and it is common for ladies who have been in a lengthy relationship to lose touch with modern dating etiquette.

‘Getting back in the saddle’ can be a traumatic experience for someone who has been accustomed to spending her evenings hooked to the television with a plate of potato chips and glass of wine. Comfortable slippers are replaced with trendy and decidedly uncomfortable stilettos and Mrs Baby Boomer sails forth to bravely conquer the dating game, expecting the social guidelines to be little changed from twenty years ago.

Psychological articles that explore relationships between men and women note that dating has become increasingly casual, even cynical, and just when we all thought networking could not get any more outrageous – up popped speed dating!

Could there be anything more unromantic than cruising a room full of strangers, small-talking each one, coldly intending to make a ‘pros and cons’ list of the faults and virtues of each one, and against the clock! It is the essence of the cynic’s view of human relations, yet speed dating enjoyed enormous popularity when it was first introduced. Psychological articles observe its detachment is possibly its main attraction - the safety of distance; being able to ‘view’ the goods safely, without obligation to purchase…try before you buy, so to speak!

Some baby boomers returning to dating after a long time off the scene find men’s attitudes to a woman’s physical allurements a little offensive. It is no longer considered impolite to make a reference to a woman’s physical attractions on early acquaintance and some women find it comforting to be complemented on the size of their breasts or the length of their legs. For older baby boomers, however, such remarks are discomforting in the extreme.

Female baby boomers fresh to the dating game after a long absence of twenty or so years often choose speed dating as an experiment – dipping their toes in the water prior to taking the plunge. The result is usually horror and disappointment followed by blind panic as Mrs B runs for the car keys and heads home again to the TV, the bowl of potato chips and a nice soothing episode of Desperate Housewives!

Ladies contemplating dating again are better off joining a special interest or dinner dating club rather than attempting speed dating on an empty stomach. And unless you have an interest in men who drink a lot and flirt a lot, don’t go looking for Mr Right in a bar or nightclub: you are certain to find the wrong kind of companion if you go searching for him in all the wrong places! Take your time and find a social circle that is right for you rather than hurling yourself into a strange and uncomfortable ordeal that leaves you yearning to go home to the TV!

The Psychological Article on Speed Dating: The Lady Baby Boomer’s Worst Nightmare is part of Boomer Yearbook’s continuing series of baby boomers psychological coaching tips and how to alleviate elderly problems. We believe knowledge is power. We’d love to hear what you think.

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